It Takes a Good-Man

Recovering

2010-12-03T20:22:00.000-08:00

Went back and looked at some of my old posts tonight after watching "It's a Wonderful Life". I guess that's how I can tell that we're healing and adjusting, because last year, I could not bring myself to watch it. Good ol' George Bailey got the happy ending he fully deserved, and last year, I knew ours was coming, but it wasn't here yet, and I just couldn't watch that darn movie.

So here's the rundown for 2010. It's almost impossible to believe that this only took one year; it kinda feels like ten.

January: It began just 11 days into Keira's new life on Earth. She is beautiful! Joe gave her a blessing and her name on the first Sunday of the year and it was such a delightful contrast from Ari's. He had blessed Ari that she would be the "manifestation of God's love in the lives of those around you." To Keira, he simply said, "You will be a leader." As I write this on the approach of her first birthday, it is already evident.

Rick was still working nights at Wal-Mart. He would work all night, come home and shower, work all day trying to build an insurance business from scratch, then fall into bed for very few hours of sleep while I tried to keep the kids under control after working all day in a job that was killing me.

In the midst of what was supposed to be the best years of our lives, I learned what it was like to be a single parent. It sucks. I take my hat off and bow deeply to those people who do it for real, because there is no doubt in my mind that I could never. One day in Sacrament Meeting, a recent convert gave a talk in which he stated that there is always an ebb and flow to everything in life, and it hit me so hard. We were in the ebb, but the flow would come.

President Seaman released Rick from his calling as Stake Executive Secretary. It just about killed all of us. He loved that calling and the men he served and served with, but he couldn't keep up with it. It was one of the saddest visits to a church leader's office I've ever experienced.

On a much happier note, we found out we were waiting for a new little grandbaby. Brianne spent her whole pregnancy this time just so sick, but she made it through.

Whitney and Joe got their family pictures back. One was a shot of them walking away from the camera, holding Ari's hands as she toddles along between them. The caption: Raising a child with Down syndrome doesn't TAKE a great family; it MAKES a great family.

February: Ridge turns 20 in the mission field, and I am so thankful for his wonderful emails and the life he is living. He is learning to serve with - and in spite of - companions who don't always want to live the mission rules. He grows stronger all the time, and it's a wonderful thing to watch.

I am on the phone with Whitney one day and she says, "Mom, every day in my prayers, I ask Heavenly Father to please make it so something will happen and Dad can quit the Wal-Mart job." Oh, the power of prayer.

My dad was diagnosed with lung cancer. Slow-growing, chemo, new words in our family vocabulary.

Ward had knee surgery. Whitney and Joe took the girls and went to San Francisco. Bishop called Rick to be one of the Gospel Doctrine teachers.

On February 28, I wrote to Ridge, "Daddy has still been down and struggling to recover from the flu that hit him like a truck." The answer to Whitney's prayers! Laugh. Out. Loud. It affected his inner ear and he was never able to go back to work at Wal-Mart. Blessings come in crazy ways.

My job in the curriculum department was. . .ummm. . .well, there's not really a nice way to put it. It was a 60-hour-per-week position and I could only work 40 because I had a kindergartener and all kinds of other challenges. What was supposed to be a professional sit-down with my supervisor got really personal and really ugly. Ten months have gone by now, and I'm still - well, repenting - for how I feel about that little conversation.

I started writing a book. A boring little book about benchmark testing and curriculum building. It will take months to finish it and get a copyright, but I'll use it to train small schools.

March: We spent a few days during spring break with my dad and sister. He was holding up pretty well from the chemo.

April: Dominik took a nose-dive over the handlebars of his bike and had to have several stitches in his knee. Ward baptized his nearly-ninety-years-old grandmother. I had a root canal. Ha ha - that sounds terrible, but it wasn't really that bad. Rick went on a big hike in Aravaipa Canyon with a bunch of folks who grew up in Safford and he had a great time. Whitney got accepted into nursing school.

May: The Gila Valley Temple was dedicated. We have still never been to it, although we oohed and aahhhed when we drove by. The chemo landed my dad in the hospital and when he came home, he was so weak that he kept falling. He went back to the hospital and they transferred him to a nursing home for rehab, which was a great blessing. I went down for a few days and used up some of my vacation time. It was a relief to get away from work; the atmosphere was so tense that it was becoming unbearable. It was good to just walk away and know that I didn't have to go back excpet to pack my stuff. Helena came for a week-long visit and then Gabe went to Norway with her for the whole summer.

June: Whitney went to work at Carden Children's Hospital in Mesa and she is so excited to work in pediatrics. Camille asked me to be her escort when she went to the temple and it was so humbling. My purse got stolen, along with the kids' DVD players. We had gone to Perryville to visit Stephanie and someone kicked the window out of the car and took everything while we were in there. At least they didn't get my camera - I was counting my blessings. In mid-June, I pretty much moved to Anthem to spend the summer with my sister and dad. She needed a break and some help. While we were there, everyone came down with the flu (except my dad - thank goodness), and I was so sick that I couldn't drive up to Show Low for Camille's temple day and wedding. I was so disappointed that I just laid in bed and cried.

July: After about 5 months of living with us, Dillon moved to Flagstaff to live with his mom. I flew to Salt Lake on July 14 and we welcomed Bristol to the world on the 15th. She is beautiful!! I flew back on the the 18th and got to Whitney's just in time for Ari's birthday party. Camille lost her mom, and I felt like I failed her by not being there for her important days.

August: Cindy and Troy moved back and it is so good to have her here again. I feel so caught in limbo sometimes; I'm way too old to hang out with the moms who have kids the ages of "our" kids, but everyone my age is off running around, enjoying their empty-nest years. Cindy is the perfect mix of "I can relate to you", and I really needed a dose of her common sense and level head. Gabe got stuck in D.C. on his return trip because of late flights and stayed at the D.C. Hilton all by himself. It was a crazy trip home for him. We dropped the kids off for their first day of school and did the Happy Dance when we got home because we had the house to ourselves. I submitted my book for a copyright. Whitney started nursing school. We all met up in Safford for a weekend so the kids could go to the lake. It was the first time I had been to Safford in about 4 years, which is so wierd. . .

September: We went to Salt Lake for Bristol's blessing and it was a wonderful trip. I got my insurance license again, and I'll never let it lapse this time - it gets harder and harder to pass the stupid test! Rick went back up to Utah to help Ward pour concrete in their basement. Their house remodel has been agonizingly slow for them. They always have to wait for someone to schedule their "little" job in between the big projects. They have been living in a one-bedroom apartment for months now, and it is so hard to be so far away and not be able to help them.

October: My dad is one tough old bird. I had determined that we would be planning his funeral before the end of summer, but his plans were not the same as mine. He has definitely aged, and shuffles along more like the 85-year-old that he is, but he is alive and kicking, dressing himself, feeding himself, and even showering with very little help. Joe went on meds for his blood pressure, and I'm breathing a sigh of relief because I was really getting worried about him. I interviewed with Arizona Virtual Academy for an online teaching position, and I have mixed feelings about going back to work. I have so enjoyed just helping Rick in our insurance "office", but we really need the income. They talked about hiring me as an English interventionist, and I was kind of dreading it. We picked Damien up from Adobe Mountain and went to Safford for Rick's 40-year reunion. We stayed at Steve and Cheryl's and had such a great time.

November: I started my new job with AZVA. Double good news: they hired me as a History and Psychology teacher, which tickles me to death, and I will be making more money than I did my last two years in Show Low. Yay for me!! Rick is super busy with Medicare supplements and the like. Damien is settling in pretty well. I am trying to keep my blood pressure down while I climb a learning curve like I've never seen before. There is a 2-week training that new teachers take, and it is intense. On the 4th day of the training, they put me in my classes. Wow. Still, I think I'm going to like it. Thanksgiving was quiet, with just the kids, us, and Joe Miles. I started putting up Christmas decorations right after I finished the dishes. ( : We splurged and bought a new dining room set and it was so fun to have for Thanksgiving!

December: Rick is blowing and going with his business, trying to keep up. I am finally starting to feel like I might survive the new job and actually get it figured out. I have gotten my second paycheck and it makes me feel much more secure. I've been busily ordering Christmas gifts and that's always fun. I'm writing this on December 3rd, so we'll see what the rest of the month brings.

Playing with Pics

2010-04-23T23:28:00.000-07:00

The Dorame family had family photos done by a photographer friend, and here are some of my favorites

Then Gabe hooked me up with Picasa, and I've been playing with pics. Here are some fun ones:

This is a building in Philadelphia that I just couldn't resist.

Our pre-missionary.

And our Guatemalan missionary -

I can never resist those newborn baby feet.

Gotta love that smile!

Happy times.

The Anniversary Approaches

2009-10-20T20:41:00.000-07:00

"What anniversary is that?" you might ask. Well, Independence Day, of course!

So much has happened in the past year. There have been incredible challenges and incredible blessings.

A year ago, our lives were cruising along; so well, in fact, that I began to wonder what challenges the Lord had in store for us. You know, like, being called to teach Gospel Doctrine or something. Little did we know.

To begin with, Joe graduated with his MBA in July, 2008 and the next day, our angel baby was born. Ariana has Down syndrome, which makes us just about the most blessed family on the face of the planet. However, her heart needed fixing. Here is a run-down of some of the events in our lives, starting from about that time:

June: Ridge moves to Flagstaff to get ready to attend NAU
July 20: Ari is born
July 21: We find out that there is a serious heart defect which will require surgery
The end of July: I start a new job as a curriculum specialist for the District. It is a HUGE challenge, with lots of stress, but I work with wonderful people and learn more than I thought possible
August: Gabe moves in with us (he is our second-oldest grandson) and starts school in Show Low
Life cruises along for a couple of months
The first part of November: Joe and Whitney move to Casa Grande. Casa Dorame is a large home with plenty of room for a growing family. I go down to help paint, clean, and arrange
November 12: Rick loses his job (see an earlier post if you need details)
November 13: Ari has open-heart surgery. The stress is insane, the repair is successful, and our angel warrior is released from the hospital in just seven days - the fastest release the charge nurse has ever done
Ward and Brianne come down for Thanksgiving. It was wonderful!!
December: Brianne graduates from BYU-Idaho
January 2009: She takes the NCLEX, passes, and gets hired at Huntsman Cancer Hospital
February: The McCombies move to Salt Lake to begin their new lives as college grads. No more homework!!!
The end of March: Ridge receives his mission call to the Guatemala City South mission.
April: we gather in Salt Lake for General Conference at Ridge's request. He is awaiting his mission call and wants to have the family together for Conference one more time before he leaves
May: I finish my first year in the new job. Cue up Reba, cuz I'm a Survivor!
June: Three more grandchildren come to live with us. One tends to clash with law enforcement, one is ADHD, and one is just a five-year-old girl who loves to sing and talk, and who misses her mommy intensely. Our house is very full, very hectic, and our empty-nest days are over in a New York Minute.
July: Rick starts working overnights at Wal-Mart so we can keep up with the bills while his business grows. He works all night, comes home and works all day building an insurance agency, and sleeps for a few hours in the evenings. He can't figure out why he's so tired. . .and I'm finding out how it feels to be a single mom. He still insists on doing the laundry.
August: We take Ridge to the MTC in Provo. Yes, I cried. But only until we got out of the parking lot. I am so excited for this wonderful missionary son, who is so excited to be serving in Latin America!
Year two of my job starts.

That just about brings us up to speed. See below for this month's excitement, the Buddy Walk.

Which brings me to the opening line of this installment: Independence Day. The desire of Rick's heart was to break away and do his own thing. The co-workers were. . .hmmm. . .how shall I put this (Thumper, what did your father tell you? If you can't say something nice, don't say nuthin' at all). You get the picture. But he couldn't bring himself to walk, because after all, how would we survive? Well, the decision was taken out of our hands, and we did survive. It has been quite a year. But we are free and independent. Tired and independent. Exhausted physically and emotionally, but. . .yes, independent. When in the course of human events, it becomes necessary for one family to break the ties of tyranny, it also becomes necessary for them to declare the causes that impel them to the seperation. We wouldn't have chosen it for ourselves, but here we are - free at last, free at last. Happy Anniversay to us!

Buddy Walk 2009

2009-10-20T20:32:00.000-07:00

We have just experienced our second annual Buddy Walk, put on by Sharing Down Syndrome Arizona. Team Ari exceeded the fundraising goal by $10.00 - woot, woot! Here is Team Ari:

Mommy, Ariana Brielle, and yet-to-be-born sister, Keira Brylee. Mommy's shirt said "Proud Mommy" on the left sleeve, and "Proud Sister" on the belly. Love it!!

Mommy, Daddy, and Ari:

The backs of the shirts were the best:

At the end of the day, Ari signed "all done".

Yes, indeedy. . .

See you all next year at Buddy Walk 2010!

Our Guy in Guatemala!

2009-10-20T20:20:00.001-07:00

Well, here is the Ridger in Guatemala at last! Above is his district in the CCM (the Guatemala Missionary Training Center).

They got to go to the temple each week and he loved it! They attended English-speaking sessions because, as President Christensen said, they were there to feel the Spirit, not to learn the language.

Elder Davis was Ridge's companion in Provo, and again in the CCM in Guatemala. Elder Davis was ALWAYS studying, and Ridge so appreciated the good example.

Ridge with President and Sister Christensen. And now. . .drum roll, please:

Here is Ridge with his first trainer/companion out in the honest-to-goodness mission field. Elder Hall is from Portland, Oregon. His family has been in touch with us, and I've been able to see pictures on their blog that give me a much better idea of where Ridge is living and how everything looks. It's GREAT!! Thanks, Hall Family!

Ridge's first day in Chiquimulilla found him taking care of Elder Hall, who had eaten some nasty snails and gotten really sick. Ooohhhh. . .No Snails, Ridge - No Snails!!

Our missionary is so excited and loves meeting and talking to people. We're so happy for him!

First Pics of the MTC!

2009-08-22T15:59:00.000-07:00

Woo-hoo!! We got our first pictures from the MTC today (Saturday, August 22, 2009)! Here they are, everyone:

On the back of this one, he says: "My companion is always studying! What's up with that?"

Picture 2:

Caption: "Yes, quite an unfortunate sunspot. Makes me look like a pirate."

And, #3:

This is the Ridger's zone at the MTC. I love it that he labeled all of the members. On the back of the photo, he gives each name, where they are from, who is companions with whom, where they are going, and the fact that two of the Elders in this photo have identical twins who are also in the MTC right now.

Some of my favorite excerpts from his latest letter:

"Sorry for the food stains on this letter. I am writing it during dinner. P-day ends in 15 minutes and I am not supposed to write after this. . . Mom, to assure you, I have gained 5 pounds since I have been here. The food is so amazing! Some ppl complain, but I haven't had a bad meal since I have been here." Moms LOVE to hear this, by the way.

He had to have some additional immunizations this past week. His letters and emails have been so amazing to read. He is excited about his mission, about teaching the Gospel, and about the fact that he has now taught the entire first and second discussions in Spanish.

Ridge's enthusiasm just spills of the pages of his letters. We are so blessed to have a wonderful missionary in the field. He is scheduled to fly out to Guatemala's MTC on the 24th or 25th. I'll post again when I know for sure. His address at the MTC down there is:

Guatemala MTC

Bulevar Vista Hermosa 23-71

Vista Hermosa I, Zona 15

01015 Guatemala

Guatemala

We have also been using dearelder.com to write letters. It's really convenient. You can put a little money in an account you set up and they will mail the letters for you. I'm sure that Ridge would want me to tell you that you can also send care packages through the website - lol!

He loves to get letters, so write away!

Ariana's First Birthday!!

2009-07-20T23:10:00.000-07:00

Our warrior angel is a year old; can you believe it?!

In typical one-year-old fashion, she was not excited about the gooey frosting on her hands. Mommy ended up with sticky purple frosting on her shirt and in her hair as she rescued her daughter from the dangers of pink, sparkly gel lettering and the attack of the killer cake.

"Mom, rescue me here. . ."

Happy, happy birthday, Ariana Brielle Dorame!!

Happy 4th of July!

2009-07-04T08:18:00.001-07:00

The 4th of July in Show Low is a long-standing tradition that we all enjoy. This year, as usual, the parade included the large:

The not-so-large:

And in the "I-am-way-more-proud-of-my-product-than-I-should-be" catagory:

We start with the parade, come home and eat (and eat, and eat. . .), and head for the football field in the evening for the fireworks. This year, I splurged and bought a smoker. The ribs and chicken are on, the potato salad is made, and the watermelon is chilling. Aaahhhhhhh. . .

Prom 2009 - Gabe and Helena

2009-04-18T20:30:00.000-07:00

The pictures say it all. Aren't they gorgeous?!

My Birthday Party at Work

2009-04-18T20:12:00.000-07:00

The ladies I work with surprised me on my birthday with a great breakfast and flowers. I LOVE working with these women; they are respected professionals and truly great friends. Thanks, girls!

General Conference with the Family

2009-04-07T21:56:00.000-07:00

What a great weekend! We drove to Salt Lake this weekend to attend Conference and to spend time together. Whitney and Joe picked Ridge up in Flagstaff and drove up while we brought Damien and Zoey with us. It was my favorite birthday ever!

More photos

2009-03-28T16:17:00.000-07:00

Here are some more photos that I couldn't help posting. I was in Casa Grande last weekend and did a photo shoot with Ari. You can also follow Brianne's link at the right to see pictures of Monica and Carter. I also realized that we don't really have any pictures of Gabe in here. He's the one behind the camera most of the time, but occasionally I do get a candid shot of him.

He's cheesin' for the camera at Oregano's on Ridge's birthday. He keeps his Nanny laughing with all his trash talk and teasing.

Dear Elder Goodman:

2009-03-27T07:46:00.000-07:00

Ridge's mission call came in the mail yesterday, so we hopped in the car and headed for Flagstaff. I wish I had taken a picture of the sky as we were coming into Holbrook - it reminded me of the Dust Bowl pictures I used to show my students. At one point, Rick had to pull off the Interstate because we literally could not see the end of the hood of our car. Scary! I just kept silently praying, "Heavenly Father, please help us get this mission call into Ridge's hands safely." I guess He heard the prayers. I also didn't get a photo of the worst of the storm (too scared to think about the camera), but here are some of the ones Gabe and I did take:

We managed to get to Flagstaff in one piece, thanks to Dad's wicked driving skills. The crowd started gathering in Ridge's apartment. We had been working on webcam setup for a couple of days so that Whitney, Joe, Ward, and Brianne could watch Little Brudder open his call. However, the Internet connection in Ridge's apartment is too slow to support high tech, so the girls had to settle for listening in on phone calls.

And the call? Guatemala, Guatemala City South Mission! Ridger reports on August 5.

We went to Olive Garden to celebrate, and Ridge had a definite "deer-in-the-headlights" look about him during dinner.

Guatemala, here he comes!

http://www.ldschurchtemples.com/guatemalacity/

http://www.mission.net/guatemala/el-salvador/cgi-bin/rmdb41.cgi?action=view_all_pres

The Future Missionary at NAU

2009-02-23T16:35:00.000-08:00

It's so hard for me to believe, but our son is ready for his mission! We went to Flagstaff on Saturday to celebrate his 19th birthday with him and his friends. His papers are ready to go and it looks to us like he has lots of good support from his great friends at NAU. We had fun eating at Oregano's (gotta love that pizzookie!), going shopping at Sam's Club, seeing a movie ("Taken" - it was intensely awesome), and then watching the party get started. They had lots of fun after we left - we hear that the party didn't break up until 4:00 a.m.

Nurse Brianne

2009-02-13T16:06:00.001-08:00

I have to brag a little, even though I did nothing myself. Brianne is now officially a registered nurse after passing the NCLEX with flying colors this week. Congratulations to this sweet daughter of ours - and to Ward as well - for accomplishing so much in life. Two gorgeous and sweet children, a Bachelor's in construction management, a registered nurse, beautiful homes being built, and a wonderful life full of service, kindness, and commitment to all the right things. We are so proud of you!

Kissed by an Angel

2009-02-13T15:56:00.000-08:00

I had a conference to attend in the Valley this week. Stephanie, Julie, and I drove down on Sunday so we wouldn't get caught in the storm, and we stayed with Whitney and Joe. Then we went to the conference for two days and ended up returning to Casa Grande because another storm was coming. That was fine with me! I can never get enough kisses going when Ari is around. So the whole time I was there, I would kiss and kiss on her. Of course, she is only six months old, going on seven months, so she can't fend me off very well. On Tuesday night, I had taken her upstairs to change her into jammies for bedtime. She was all changed and I was walking across the loft with her, holding her up so that she was looking backwards over my left shoulder. She kind of pulled away from me and held herself out at arms' length, just looking at me. Then she leaned toward me and put her little mouth on my cheek. She just held herself there for several moments, and suddenly I realized that she was kissing me! That has to rank right up there with the all-time highs in my life; being kissed by an angel.

35 Years of Crazy Happiness

2009-01-24T15:15:00.000-08:00

Wow - we have been married for 35 years! In case you don't know the story, we eloped to Agua Prieta, Mexico on January 14, 1974. Rick was 21. I was 16. My parents were livid. Rick didn't have in-laws for the first three years we were married. By the time my parents spoke to us again, we had two kids.

We have had some incredible ups and downs, but I wouldn't change a thing about my sweet hubbie and our relationship. He is my source of strength, and he is so good to me. I love having him be the father of our six kids and the grandfather of our 9-person munchkin crew!

Hello, Bedford Falls!

2009-01-14T20:18:00.000-08:00

For years now, my favorite Christmas movie has been "It's a Wonderful Life." It's not just a cute movie, or a feel-good movie to me. From the first time I ever saw it, there was a profound message there that seemed to be meant for me personally. I never questioned the "why" of it - I just always enjoyed watching it several times during the Christmas season. It seems deeply significant to me that an ordinary guy can have his dreams repeatedly put on hold, then find one day that the life he was living was the very one that would ultimately save him, because he was in the right place, and more importantly, doing the right thing all along.

I didn't watch it this year. I just couldn't bring myself to sit down and see it again. We have had many, many blessings in our lives - always. But in November, a Mr.-Potter-like situation came along and broadsided us. The week before it happened, Rick was told that he would be taking a significant cut in pay. When he shared that with me, I took a deep breath and whispered a prayer in which I asked for one thing only - that I wouldn't have any fear. Faith and fear cannot co-exist, and I would rather opt for faith.

That prayer was answered with a profound sense of peace. The Spirit began to. . .I want to say whisper. . .but it was more like a friend's voice right there beside me. It was stronger than a whisper. And the fear fled.

Then the battle began.

Whitney and Joe were moving to their new home in Casa Grande and awaiting the news regarding the scheduling of Ariana's heart surgery. Suddenly, everything went into overdrive. The surgery was scheduled for the next week, the day after Joe's birthday, and just a few days into the move, which included painting, organizing, unpacking, painting some more, and the general exhaustion that always surrounds a move with a new baby who happens to have medical problems. I was down there helping out (note to Joe: thanks for keeping your panic at bay while I took over the paint roller. I know it makes you crazy, but I appreciate you not tying me up and throwing me in the closet). It was November 12, and we were putting together birthday stuff, trying to shop for Christmas, getting ready for the at-least-a-week in the hospital stay and trying not to think about what Ari was going to be going through. Needless to say, the stress level was pretty significant. Gabe and I were in the car on our way to Kohl's when the phone rang. It was Rick. The conversation was pretty amusing, actually, in retrospect.

Rick: Well, they laid me off.
Me: Quit lying - they did not.
Rick: Yah, they did.
Me: Stop it.
Rick: (Insert dead air here)
Me: You're not lying, are you?
Rick: Nope. (And then he told me the story, which I won't relate here, because bitterness tends to drive away faith too.)
Me: Oh. . .my.

It was a true "Mr. Potter" moment. You remember - right at Christmas time, during the happiest time of the year, Mr. Potter steals eight thousand dollars that Uncle Billy left on the table, and George Bailey gets caught in a web of circumstances that threaten to destroy him. That's how this felt. The day before Ari's surgery. . .and BOOM!

Here's the thing. Rick is good at insurance sales because he cares about people. That's it, pure and simple. Just like George Bailey, Rick puts people and their needs ahead of financial gain. In my book, that is a sure-fire recipe for success, because whatever you dish out is what's going to come back to you. As ye sow, so shall ye reap. And Rick has been reaping the fruits of hard work combined with compassion and care for the people he serves. That's the key. He doesn't sell anything - he serves. The sales follow, but they're not what his design is.

In the movie, George inherits a tattered angel. Well, I don't know of any of those who are hanging around here, but I do keep trying to remind Rick of all the good things about himself, so maybe I'm Clarence. You know, a little absent-minded, a little eccentric, and coincidentally, a reader of Mark Twain. Not that Rick needed to be saved from himself - he's pretty strong and very level-headed, and I'm sure glad, because losing a job suddenly can send some men into a tailspin. Remember the stories about Black Tuesday on the New York Stock Exchange in 1929? Guys go crazy when their jobs go away sometimes, and I'm glad that I didn't have to worry about that.

So here we are. There are supporting characters in the movie who bear a pretty striking resemblance to some of the folks in our lives. Sam Wainwright lives on in the form of my dad. George's brother Harry is personified in my kids, who figuratively flew through their own storms to come and offer sympathy, compassion, and concrete offers of ways they wanted to help. Ward and Brianne offered to pull up roots, move to Arizona, and get licensed to sell insurance, which I'm sure is the last career Ward would really want to pursue, but he was willing to do it for us. Whitney and Joe came up with suggestions about legal issues that we would probably not have considered without their ideas, and those are proving to be enormously helpful (plus they send daily pictures of Ari). Ridge just stepped up to the plate and decided that he was a grown man, perfectly capable of paying his own way - which he has been doing ever since he moved to Flagstaff anyway - but he has truly stepped away from the parents since November. Erica is communicating more with her dad, and Stephanie is also standing on her own. There has been a role reversal, and the kids are calling to check on us.

And the town of Bedford Falls, with all those people whom George Bailey helped? That would be Show Low, Arizona. People have offered office space, amazing encouragement, valid advice, shoulders to lean on, righteous indignation, prayers, blessings, and our names in the temple. There are good things bubbling right beneath the surface in this town where everyone knows everyone. We are surrounded by love and support. Hello, Bedford Falls! Hello, you old run-down Building and Loan!

In the final analysis, we aren't so different from the Baileys. I'll never look like Donna Reed did, but this isn't about contrasts, it's about comparisons. In his darkest hour, George was saved by the people he had saved. He was saved by his own good deeds and the very life he had lived. In the movie, we never see what became of Mr. Potter, and maybe that's for the best. To quote Mary Bailey - "Oh, who cares." George had a wife, mother, kids, brother, uncle, and an entire town full of people whose love was infinitely stronger than Mr. Potter's evil designs. As ye sow, so shall ye reap.

Today was our 35th wedding anniversary, and we decided that after dinner at Licano's (courtesy of Ridge's gift card from Christmas), we would go to the temple. Sitting in the celestial room together, the Spirit spoke again. We're all right - we're all right.

The Good-man Clan

2009-01-08T20:44:00.001-08:00

I used to keep a journal. In fact, I have several of them that are completely full. Yes - well, that was before I went back to school and then. . .went back to school. Now my life is completely and wonderfully crazy. AND I own a really nice camera. So when the people from blogspot called me and asked me to create a special post, naturally I could only say yes.

OK, I gave up pathological lying several years ago. The fact is that this blog is my only hope of documenting the Goodman family for right now. Nobody from blogspot actually called me. Brianne has one of these and I get a kick out of following her story and seeing what's happening with some of her friends. I also have a facebook and myspace, but I'm not sure I can talk about that here, so here I go. . .

2008 in Review

Life was pretty much cruising along in the first part of the year, although I was having a challenging semester in the classroom. We were planning for Ridge's graduation from high school (and for those of you who haven't seen him since he was a kid, the answer is six-foot five and probably still growing):

That was in May, and by the way, it snowed on graduation night! It was a pretty poignant evening for me, since my baby was graduating and getting ready to leave home, which left Rick and me looking at an empty nest. Several of my soccer players were also graduating, and I had not only watched them grow up from kindergarten on, but I had coached them for four years. It was crazy to see them all marching up there to the stage in their Cougar green-and-gold caps and gowns.

Almost as soon as graduation was over, Ridge moved to Flagstaff and into the NAU dorms for the summer, I wish I had a picture of it, but I didn't get the new camera until a few days later. You'll have to picture it in your mind: The photo is a shot of me climbing the stairs in the dorm with a large, heavy box in my arms. I am red-faced and puffing, trying to keep up with Ridge, who is a flight ahead of me. Of course, as an incoming freshman, his room is on the THIRD floor, and it goes without saying that there are no elevators in the dorm. Goodness. . .

Here he is in his dorm room. I'm the one behind the camera, trying not to cry. It's kind of tough when your baby leaves home. Fortunately, we had the trip of a lifetime ahead of us!

In June, I had a great time in Idaho helping Brianne and Ward with some moving and other things they needed to do. Brianne was still in nursing school at BYU-Idaho, taking care of her sweet little munchkins, helping Ward finish his first spec house, doing 12-hour clinicals, taking her coursework, and just generally running on fumes. I got to spend two full weeks with them, and it was wonderful! I got to really try the new camera out.

That's Miss M.
Here is Carter-boy:
In the midst of all the hard work the kids were both doing (Ward was putting the finishing touches on the house and he took a quick trip to Michigan with his dad, brother, and grandfather), we took one afternoon and went to the park:I got home from Idaho just in time to wash the clothes (actually, Rick does all the laundry. Gosh, I love that man), re-pack, and head to the east coast for Ridge's trip. We started out in Philadelphia:

If you ever go to Philly, along with the historical sites (the picture on the left is of Independence Hall with the Liberty Bell in the foreground), you have to ride The Ducks and go to the Reading Terminal Market for a Philly Cheesesteak. We only spent one full day there, but it was amazing.

Next stop on the trip: Washington DC. In contrast to the hot-but-tolerable weather in Philadephia, DC was a wet, muggy furnace. That must have been OK with us, because we walked and walked and walked. Pioneer children sang as they walked. . .well, we didn't do much singing, but my spirit was doing the Hallalujah Chorus. I have always dreamed of going to DC and here we finally were.

One of the special treats on the trip was that Cindy and Troy and their kids drove down from Erie, Pennsylvania, to hang out for the Fourth of July. It was so incredible to see them!

We boarded the Amtrak again and headed for New York City. Now, I have to confess that when Ridge added the Big Apple to the itenerary, I wasn't completely thrilled. At the time, we were planning to rent a car to drive between cities, and the thought of navigating the streets of Manhattan scared the daylights out of me. But once we decided to take the train between cities, I got more excited about seeing the City that Never Sleeps.

We discovered that there were some few negatives about New York. For one, everything seemed dirty - especially the subways. The other negative probably made us aware of any other less-than-perfect aspects of the whole thing: the air conditioning in our room didn't work very well. So. . .when the train left us at Penn Station and we decided to walk the 10 blocks to our Greenwich Village inn, we were setting outselves up a little bit. By the time we got there, we (I) were so hot and sweaty and winded that it was hard to be excited. All I wanted to do was take a nap in the cool room, which wasn't so cool. Ridge had other ideas. He took off to explore. That was really scary for me, but Rick gave me one of "those" looks and just said, "Let him go." OK, OK. Ridge took off and then returned safely about 4 hours later, thoroughly integrated into New York City. He had bought a subway map and visited everyplace from Soho to Times Square to uptown 5th Avenue. At that point in the trip, I knew that we were no longer taking the lead. Ridge was the expert, and we spent the rest of that leg of the trip just following him. The highlights of the trip: MoMA (Museum of Modern Art), the requisite Central Park carriage ride, Times Square, Armani, FAO Schwartz, a Broadway production of the Lion King (an absolute must-see!), The Statue of Liberty and Ellis Island, being on TV courtesy of The Today Show, Greenwich Village and Washington Square, a tour of the NBC studios (and the SNL Live set), Rockerfeller Center, the Empire State Building, Macey's department store, the Central Park Zoo, a great deli and an adorable Italian restaurant in Greenwich Village, and the reconstruction at Ground Zero. Here are some of the photo highlights:

By the way - those negatives I was talking about earlier? well, the NY part of the trip was totally worth it. Next time, I'll just make sure we have decent air-conditioning!

One if by Land, Two if by Sea. . .

Next came Boston. After New York, we were pretty tired and needed a good room and some down time. We got both in Boston. It was wonderful. From the moment we walked into our (very clean, very air-conditioned, and very pretty) room, we were enchanted by Bean Town. We actually stayed in Cambridge, right on the Charles River. We walked the Freedom Trail and saw tons of history (and more than a little of the "National Treasure" sights). We ate (and ate and ate) at Quincy Market (where we were repeat offenders), walked around the Harvard area, spent plenty of time down at the wharf just relaxing, took a harbor cruise, took the ferry to Salem - the only disappointment of the trip for me - I was wanting all the history and instead got a huge dose of witchcraft kitschyness. In retrospect, I'm glad we went, but it was a lot like being close to the world's biggest candy store and only getting to stand in the entryway. We did see a good reenactment of the witch trials, but we missed seeing Gallows Hill and the actual cemeteries. For those of you who might not know, I taught English 11 for several years, and The Crucible was one of our big units. I got pretty well acquainted with the Salem witch trials, but since I'm a history major, I want the facts and places, not the tourist/Halloween version. Anyway, the rest of the visit to the area was really, really great. I could go back to Boston and spend more time easily.

We also went to church there and ran into Christian and Lacey Gentry, who graciously gave us a ride back to the hotel and then came and picked us up that evening, fed us warm brownies and ice cream, and then drove us to the Boston temple for an evening tour of the gardens. It was such a fun added bonus - thanks guys (and congratulations on your little guy - he looks like his daddy)!

We got home from the trip just in time for the very best part of summer:

Ariana Brielle Dorame

July 20, 2008

Joe's graduation from his MBA program was on July 19, which also happened to be Rick's birthday. We had a lovely evening watching him graduate (the keynote speaker was Graham Steadman. You know - Oprah's guy) and then going to Sopporo for dinner (teppan yaki and sushi - Ridge and Joe tried some absolutely disgusting stuff and kind of enjoyed it).

Joe had offered a prayer earlier that Ari would arrive soon, but hold off until after graduation. We got home from dinner at about 11:00 and we laid down. Whitney woke us up at about 2:00 and said that she thought she was truly in labor. We headed for the hospital, where they put her in triage and didn't get her into a room until 6:00. Our warrior princess went all-natural and Ariana was born at 8:10 a.m.

We were in the middle of some heavy-duty celebrating and thanks-giving. About an hour after Ari's birth, a sweet doctor and nurse came in and told us that they thought Ari had Down syndrome. It was a bit of a shock, but after a few minutes of taking it all in, the kids just took a deep breath and never looked back. One of my sweetest memories of the whole experience? When a sudden thought hit Whitney and she said with wonder and delight, "Joe - she is sealed to us!"

Down syndrome babies (see a later blog for information on this) tend to have heart problems, so they started running tests. Sure enough, Ari had an arterioventricular heart defect. This basically means that she was missing the wall in her heart that divides the two sides. She also had one valve where there should have been two. Because this condition can lead to congestive heart failure, they transferred her to Banner Desert's NICU unit.

Here she is in her Air-Evac beanie.

Although the heart problem was definitely an issue, Ari never developed the congestive heart failure. She went home just a few days later. It was clear that she would have to have surgery to repair her heart, but for the time being, she was holding her own without even any medication. She had spent some time under the bilirubin lights, and we have some great pictures of her "sun-bathing" - which I will have to locate.

The end of July saw me starting a "new" job. I moved out of the classroom and into the new district Curriculum office. I am working as the (grades) 7-12 curriculum specialist for the district. It is way different from teaching, but I am really loving it. I thoroughly enjoy the ladies I work with and I feel like we are helping the teachers. There were some situations in the district that were creating lots of stress and unnecessary work for the teachers, and we have spent the past few months trying to remedy some of those things. I think that we have done a pretty good job of it, and it is a rewarding feeling.

Joe gave Ariana her name and blessing in August, and we had a great surprise. It was late on Friday night and we were at Whitney and Joe's house in Mesa. Ridge and Whitney had gone to the grocery store for some goodies, and when they returned, they walked in the front door and Whitney said later that she was wondering what was going on. There were all these extra people in her living room, and the one closest to her on the couch with his back to her looked like Ward. And the little boy sitting on the man's lap looked like Carter. I was watching Whitney's reaction the whole time and when she realized that it really was Ward and Brianne, she really got emotional. There were lots of hugs and kisses all around. We got to spend a great weekend together and it was wonderful to hear the blessing Joe gave Ariana. The other really nice thing about it was that it was Uncle Ridge's first experience to stand in on a blessing, since he was ordained an elder just a couple of months earlier.

We have such a good time when we're together! Someone got the camera and took pictures of us girls together. We always laugh about how the girls all have my feet - sausage toes and all.

Here are pictures from the blessing day:

After the blessing, Ward and Brianne came to Show Low for a few days and we got to have a family cookout.

September kind of clocked by, but I did get some good pictures of Zoey and Dominik when they came over here for one of Dominik's football games:

In October, I flew up to Idaho for Carter's 3rd birthday and some good opportunities for photo ops in the BYU-Idaho picture gardens:

Also in October, we went to our first Buddy Walk. This is a fun event that is put on by Sharing Down Syndrome Arizona and it is held in Tempe. It was a wonderful day of games, music, food, pony rides, balloons, and a short walk that everyone does with cheerleaders (and the Phoenix Suns' Gorilla) posted all along the way to encourage these kids and their families.

There was a time when babies who were born with Down syndrome were not given much hope and most did not live to be very old. Thankfully, we know more about the syndrome now, and we understand that these kids can meet a great deal of potential. At the Buddy Walk, we saw one sweet little lady who was 63 years old. If you look at this picture closely, you will see her to the right of Joe - she's the one in the pink running outfit. She was tiny and oh-so-sweet.

In the picture on the right is a little boy that I wanted to wrap up and take home with me. He was absolutely adorable and he was completely smitten with Ari. Well, so are we! The little girl on the left was one of my favorites for the day. She was just having such a great time dancing and you could see complete joy on her face.

In the early fall, we had Grandpa Allen here for a visit, and we took him to Big Lake. By this time, Gabe had moved in with us, and we were busy getting him settled in, shuffling rooms, and creating space for an office.

On November 13, our Ariana angel baby had her surgery. Our many fervent prayers were answered and the surgery was successful. It was one of the most stressful things I have ever been through in a good many years. It was heart-breaking to hear Ari cry and know that she was in pain a couple of times, but that was tempered by the fact that she had a priesthood blessing by her Daddy and Papa. It was also amazing to see the medical technology and the incredible skills and training of the doctors and the nurses who take care of these little babies. On the night of her surgery, Ari came back to her room with two IV poles that each had four machines attached, with another two machines on her bed. She had a large patch on her forehead that measured the oxygen levels in her brain, IVs in each arm and each leg, a chest drainage tube, electrodes taped to her chest and leads that went into her chest (I think), sets of rubber "hands" that kept all the tubes and leads straightened out, banks of catheters that kept her IV lines clean and flushed and ready to use, a ventilator (which she got off of the next day), and an adult-sized bed to hold it all. My estimate is that the equipment weighed at least 25 times as much as she did, and it certainly took up that much more space. Here are some pictures that show the progression of the post-surgery events and how quickly she started looking better:

Our Ariana soldier made a land-speed-record recovery and went home in one week. The charge nurse said that it was the fastest discharge she has had in that unit.

The day before the surgery, Rick lost his job, and that has been an interesting situation for us, but we are being blessed. The blog above this one talks about that. The rest of the year really flew by and we have busy, happy lives. We have so much to be grateful for!!

Thanksgiving

We have so much to be thankful for! We had Thanksgiving at Whitney and Joe's house. Ward and Brianne were down and Joe's family was there as well. I discovered that I only thought I could cook a turkey - Joe's mom, Elvia, makes the best turkey I've ever tasted! We did get some fun pictures:

Announcing: The new nurse in the family!!

On December 11, Brianne finished the nursing program at BYU-Idaho and had her pinning ceremony. This event was the capstone of four or five years of hard work during which time Ward received his Bachelor's degree in Construction Management and Brianne completed her RN requirements. We drove up for her pinning ceremony and we are so proud of her. It's tough enough to finish school in the early years or even as a single, but for both of these kids to complete school while raising their little family is an incredible accomplishment. The icing on the cake? She has been hired by Huntsman Cancer Institute in Salt Lake City. She'll complete a paid internship there which will give her a fantastic resume and some wonderful experience. They have bought a home in the Holladay area of Salt Lake City. We are tickled pink that they will be 3 hours closer to us!

I didn't get any pictures at Christmas time - what was I thinking?! But here are some random pictures from throughout the year that I really like: